Srikasih Febriyanti


Falling Into Ideas of Failing In.

Dear Self,

We come to a point where a necessary reminder is needed to be unleashed. The distraction over ideas these days consumed a lot of energy, so why not snacking a gentle bar of conscience to get back sane and steady?

The diagnose itself is pretty simple: you have been falling in love with the idea of falling in love with a person. A person, per se, whom feature and gesture are made of assumption – a prototype polished with the best thoughts and packaged as neat as a premium delivery. Compromised flaws, tolerable imperfections, while the rest claimed: awesome.

But, c'mon. This idea comes again and again through dozen of your zoned-outs. Each of them appears in between your imagination, when you are locking yourself alone in the middle of the crowd. You beep away and craft a scenario where you place live characters to play off the story you have in your head. But seriously, for your own good, you just have to stay in real world and start poke those bubble thoughts. Bite this: some people are better left observed from afar. They are not necessary be part of your imaginary investment to fill up the empty seats inside you. You are alright being alone with your principles, and you are accepted the way you are as you always knew. Those people you observed won't seamlessly transformed into a loyal friend, or any perfect fit, because you know truly that such idea is just a smoke blends in the sea of thoughts. None of it is real.  

Their mysterious natures were meant to stay mysterious, and the small infatuations you had with them were nothing more than harmful crushes. How many more of creations you look forward to make, before any disappointment hit when they just don't measure up? Why can't you allow the real tickle of butterflies on your stomach takes part and drag you along from zoning out? Why can't you let anybody in, and for this time, to be acknowledged again? 

If any damage in the past have cracked you up so badly, why not seek for the real help? You know that running away takes you far from me: yourself, and things would be worse if you lost me at the labyrinth of ideas you are gradually failing in.

I love you, more than you ever know.
And that statement above is not even an idea.
I am wholeheartedly here executed for you. 

Your Self

Srikasih FebriyantiComment